Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Mama's Girl

I’m a mama’s girl. I know that doesn’t make me particularly cool, but it’s 100% true. We could speculate about why I'm such a mama's girl, but that’s what the psychiatrist’s couch is for, right? Regardless of the many reasons, I’m extremely close to my mom. I’d do anything for her, and she for me. So what’s the problem? Well, I wouldn’t say there’s a problem exactly; it’s just a weakness or a dependency that I feel the need to acknowledge.

Long past my 18th birthday, I’ve depended on my mom for love and support, but since becoming a mother myself, I’ve taken this dependency to a whole new level. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been this dependent on her since I was a child, unable to cook or drive or earn money for myself! And this goes against the natural order of things, right? Parents give unconditionally to their children as they grow, but then as adults, the children are supposed to give back. Only I don’t think I’m giving back. Before I had babies, maybe I was, a little bit anyway, but now I just take and take and take. It’s a little embarrassing, shameful even, but there it is.

Now I’m sure my mom would say the two little blonde “angels” that I have brought into her life are more than enough “repayment” for her, but that hardly seems fair. I mean, I know she loves my girls and enjoys taking care of them, but I also know that the time spent on her own with them is not exactly easy on her. But despite the physical challenges my wee ones present, my mom eagerly comes over almost every weekend to serve as babysitter and provide an extra pair of hands. And those hands never come empty. Whether it’s clothes for the girls (or me!), soup or meatloaf for weeknight dinners, filters for my air purifier, or some gadget she’s found to help us with the tasks of daily living - there are no limits to her generosity.

And I apparently have no limits to how much I can accept. In other circumstances, I think of myself as pretty self-reliant, but when it comes to being a mom – well, I’d be completely lost without mine.

But I think I’m okay with that. I mean, as long as she is of course. And I can only pray that one day my girls feel about me the way I feel about my mom. Of course, I’m terrified of the road we’ll have to travel to get there, but I hope we do. I’d love a couple of mama’s girls of my own.

8 comments:

  1. Robyn, Robyn, Robynnnnn--lovely post, but you made me cry at work. :) Glad you're back to writing. It's therapeutic for me to read. Hugs! Ashley Black

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    1. Hugs to you too! Glad you're "out there" reading - though do stop crying at work!

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  2. So glad ou are back to writing...made me cry too. I am a Mama's girl and my sister is too. My Mom cares for my niece and I know my sister feels the same way you do :) You are such a beutiful writer!!!! Hope all is well...hugs to those precious angels!

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    1. Thanks Steph! Hugs to you too. Come back for a visit soon.

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  3. What a beautiful tribute to our beautiful Mom. She is pretty amazing...but so are you sweet sister. Remember, everything you know about being a mother comes directly from her. You are much more self reliant than you know & you amaze just about everyone. Mom's help is tremendous, and you are so lucky to have her near by, but she is lucky to have you, and those gorgeous girls of yours, near by too. I know that being with all of you makes her heart soar. Wish I could be there too. This Mom/Sister's girl misses you all so much.
    Love you,
    Darby

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    1. Tear! We miss you terribly, D. I'm so blessed to have mom nearby, but I can't help but wish I had my sister nearby too. Let's all move to Rayndrop!

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  4. Robyn, This rang so true and dear to my heart. But I agree; I can only hope and pray my daughter will be a Mamma's girl, too and I will do the same for her one day. I think in our families, that's just how the circle of life works. And that's OK for us, right? :)

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    1. You're right - that IS how it works in our families! And I'd say we're pretty lucky for that!

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