I thought I had a little more time. The girls don’t turn two for another six months, and yet I fear the so-called “terrible twos” have already arrived. Times two. I’m not gonna lie. I’m terrified. And I have no idea what I’m doing.
Before the girls were born, I probably read ten books about having a baby (or two). And while, yes, I was overwhelmed by the reality of having two newborns, those books had given me a plan and I worked that plan. I clung to the plan! The plan kept me sane during some pretty intense times. (It might have driven everyone else crazy but I wasn’t worried about them!) I think I mellowed out a little during the second half of the first year, but I still stuck to the plan for the most part. And I felt good about that. I was pretty confident that I was doing a good job, that I was doing what was best for my kids – as long as I stuck to the plan.
Now, there is no plan. Spankings? Time outs? Naughty chairs? I don't know! Should I let my child scream and cry on the kitchen floor while I go about my business? What about in public? Is it bad to give in and hold the screaming child in the grocery store if that’s the only way to quiet her?
I’m sure every mother faces these challenges, but (forgive me for pulling the twin card) I really think the second one complicates matters further (and I'm sure any second child makes it harder, not just a twin). Yesterday at the park, Julie was being obnoxious but Anna was having so much fun. If it had just been Julie I would have taken her home as soon as the first tantrum began, but I didn’t want to punish Anna too. So there I was with a screaming toddler tucked under one arm as I pushed a smiling toddler in the swing.
I need a plan and fast. If anybody’s out there, I beg you to share your wisdom below.
Man are we at the same stage together. Logan was such a laid back, social little baby and now he has a split personality and I have even named the evil one Lars!!! Now he is shy and clingy around others and is stubborn as a mule! He will cry in a room for EVER until I go pick him up. At home this is easy, I just wait him out and ignore the fit. I'm amazed at how long he can hold out too! In public or at someone else's house it gets trickier! All I know is that he has a sibling coming in 3 months and things are getting worse not better. I can't imagine his reaction to the competition!! Awwww!!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am just as confused as you are. If I figure anything out I'll let you know. Please do the same if ANYTHING works for you. Oh and that pic is classic!! It made me lol!! Hang in there! Love you, J
I love you Jen! And Logan and Lars too! You're so right though - toddlers have split personalities. One minute they're smiling and laughing and the next they're collapsed in a heap screaming bloody murder. God help you adding another little one to the mix! Hopefully both Logan and Lars turn out to be good big brothers!!!
DeleteWell as a mother of two girls 20 months apart who made it to ages 9 and 11 so far and twin boys almost 4 months old I can let you know you're screwed and there are no answers. But really its a no win situations. When the girls were small I had to leave full carts of food at a grocery store...and I swear our photo was hanging in target "do not allow". They will make you want to hang your head in shame more than once. But don't give up on them continue with dinners out with them and trips to the store or they will never learn. I felt like sometimes they wouldnt listen to me unless my hear spun around and my eyes bugged out. I;ve had to pull the car over on a highway to tell them to stop doing whatever they were doing. I think I even remember throwing a toy they were fighting about out a window of a moving car.(i do not recommend this) At some point there will be mad at one another for runing the fun for the other.
ReplyDeleteBefore the twins I started doing my nails and hair again but yesterday I cut my nails off and took at the ponytail holders again.
You have to just use you best judgement in each situation as each situation will be unique. It will all be worth it. Of course stayed tuned as I am entering preteens years with daughters that want desperately to grow up to fast.
So from Sue, Courtney, Ashleigh, Connor and Colten we will be surviving with you!
Sue, you are my hero! No wonder you are doing such a great job juggling twins - you've basically already been through it! (And I'd guess that having 2 on the same schedule is probably easier than having a toddler and a newborn, but we won't tell Jen that!)But yes, I can imagine that as hard as toddlerhood is, it will be nothing compared to the teenage years. God help you - please take notes as you go so you can share the wisdom when I need it!
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