In this moment...

This is hard. Not harder than I thought it would be but still…it’s really, really hard. And what I’m about to say is likely to offend much of my audience, but I can’t help but think how easy this would be if there were just one of them. Not that I’d be willing to send one back of course, but it’s that second mouth to feed that complicates things a bit. It’s the “in stereo” crying that can bring me to tears. It’s the fact that as soon as I manage to calm one down, the other starts. Surely if it was just one…this motherhood stuff would be a breeze.

But as hard as it is, it is getting easier. I think it is anyway. I may think differently after the next feeding. But in this moment, things seem like they're on their way up. My mom left last Thursday and I cried as I watched her pull out of the driveway, but her absence has forced me and the girls to figure out how to do this on our own. And we seem to be doing okay. The M-I-L is here of course, so I do have back up if I need it, but I’m taking great satisfaction from the fact that I don’t have to have her here in order to take care of my children. The fact that she’s doing laundry and helping to keep the house from looking like a bomb went off is a bonus, but her presence is not mandatory.

So yes, the in-laws have arrived and so far we’re all coping. My fabulous brother-in-law and sister-in-law and their little girl are also here and being hugely helpful. And of course my aunt and uncle came by this past weekend to dote on the girls a bit too. Never a dull moment around here! It’s wonderful to have so many people that love us, but I’d be lying if I said all the activity isn’t more than a little stressful. I’m trying to roll with it though. I’ve decided the new me – the mom version of me – doesn’t sweat the small stuff. She doesn’t worry about what others think…not even the M-I-L.

So that’s the latest with us. The girls are growing like mad (Anna was 8 lb 10 oz and Julie was 6 lb 15 oz at their 4 week appointment). They are eating better, sleeping a little better, pooping lots (which apparently is a good thing - even if it makes the 24 daily diaper changes kind of a nightmare), and I actually ventured out for a run today while the girls slept. I went about 3 miles - and loved every step.

So in this moment, I’m feeling good…and these are the moments I feel like blogging. I’m sure it would be good for me to write about the other moments too, but in those moments, all I feel like doing is stuffing my face with ice cream and hiding in the bathroom for a good cry. Then I remind myself of the bright side – that at least with all this breast feeding, it’s okay to stuff myself with ice cream! And then I feel a little better… in that moment anyway.

Their faces pretty much express how I feel moment to moment! (That's Julie on the left and Anna - having a moment of her own - on the right)