Counting

Today my daughters are 3 weeks old, or 21 days, depending on how you’re counting. Me, I’m doing a lot of counting these days – minutes spent nursing, milliliters of supplement, ounces of weight gain, number of wet diapers, number of poops, number of minutes available to shower or check email or close my eyes until the next feeding begins…

It’s certainly not easy – juggling newborn twins – but these early days haven't actually been as difficult as I feared. Of course I'm pretty sure that's only because my mother has been living with us since Day One - not only helping with diaper changes and round the clock feedings but also serving as chef, housekeeper, and personal shopper too. So it's with great dread that I'm counting down the days I have left with her here full-time.

But my mom's exit will be immediately followed by the arrival of Roger's parents, and Roger assures me that they will provide just as much assistance as my Mom. I I'm sure he's right, but it won't be quite the same. I know the M-I-L is a great house guest – she's a huge help in the kitchen and she takes her title of "Laundry Fairy" quite seriously. Still, I can't help but wonder if she will be as willing to get up at 1 am (...and 4 am...and 7 am) as my mom has been. And even if she is willing, how much harder will it be for me to ask for help from her than from my own mom? I'm counting on that being tougher than I'd like it to be.

But all in all things are going well. The girls are gaining weight, staying awake longer (though not always at appropriate times), and I'm feeling a little more confident every day that Roger and I can actually do this...even if we still have a little while before we have to do it on our own.

So mostly I'm counting my blessings...my precious little girls, my amazing husband, my selfless mom, my adoring sister and her family, my eager in-laws, and of course the generous friends who have come by offering encouragement, support, and more importantly...food! (Because one thing I'm not counting just yet is calories!)

Pretty cute, huh?

The Power of Two

This time last week I was watching the Emmy's. I was uncomfortable and cranky and wondering when my misery would end...little did I know that just 12 hours later I would be welcoming the most amazing little creatures I've ever known into my life.

My water broke around 1 a.m. Roger and I scrambled to get things together (because of course the bag was only half packed) and headed to Northside. They hooked me up to monitors and asked me a million questions before turning down the lights so we could "sleep." Roger dozed a bit while I watched the monitors for the next few hours - obsessing about the babies' heartbeats while watching the number that reflected my increasingly uncomfortable contractions. Around 7:30 the doctor came in and looked me over before deciding that a c-section would be the safest way to get the babies out of me.

I was a little panicky as they prepped me for surgery. They took me into the OR and made Roger wait outside and by the time they let him come in I had tears pouring down my face and was approaching a full on panic attack. But he quickly calmed me down and before we knew it they were asking him to stand up to witness our firstborn daughter come into the world. A few minutes later they were both in my arms. There I was - fearing the worst - that they would both be immediately rushed to the NICU, but instead the nurses were placing them in my arms while the four of us posed for a photo shoot right there in the OR. I cried again, but this time not with panic - with joy like I've never known before.

I have so much more to say about what turned out to be the best day of my life but the girls need to be fed so instead I will just choose this moment to formally introduce my daughters...

Bryanna Darby & Julie McKinney
August 30, 2010
9:18 am & 9:19 am
6 lb 7 oz, 18 1/2 in. & 4 lb 10 oz, 18 1/2 in.

"So we're okay; we're fine -
Baby I'm here to stop your crying.
Chase all the ghosts from your head,
I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed.
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart -
We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart.
Adding up the total of a love that's true -
Multiply life by the power of two."
-Indigo Girls