Confessions from a Pregnancy

First of all, I feel truly blessed to be experiencing the completely crazy phenomenon that is pregnancy. But that doesn't mean I'm loving every minute of it. In fact, I have become immediately suspicious of any woman who claims she "loved being pregnant." I think she's either a liar or she just doesn't remember it all that well.

I know pregnancy is different for every woman, and when I compare my own experience to those of others I'm consistently reminded that it could be worse. (Apparently, it could also be better. I've heard rumors that morning sickness usually subsides after the third month...that would've been really nice. Sigh.) It's funny though, that the things I feared most about pregnancy - the expanding belly, the weight gain, the absence of wine - aren't really the worst parts at all. Now, don't worry. This isn't where I share all of the horrifying details about being pregnant. I didn't randomly return from the blogger graveyard this evening with the intention of starting a big whine fest; however, I do feel the need to confess that being pregnant is not my favorite thing.

However, there are a few good things about being pregnant, and in this last month I'm going to have to really focus on them to keep myself from spiraling into a pit of over dramatic self pity. So here goes...my list of the cool things about being pregnant.

1. Feeling them move - It just never gets old. I know it's a little weird that I constantly have a hand on my belly, but I can't stop myself. And watching the movement through my skin is even better. It's simultaneously the creepiest and coolest thing I've ever experienced.

2. The smiling - People are extremely friendly to pregnant people. Strangers smile at me and ask how I am...and I kind of love it. Of course, I fear I'm rapidly approaching the point where the smiles are mere attempts at masking the initial looks of horror that say "Good God! That woman looks like a baby might burst out of her at any moment...should I call 911?"

3. The eating - Let's face it; I'm a girl who likes to eat, and being pregnant has provided me with the perfect excuse (not that I've ever really needed one!). It hasn't been a total ice cream free for all - I've had to fit in a ridiculous amount of protein and lots of fruits and veggies too - but it's still been pretty cool.

4. My husband - From the moment I realized I was pregnant, Roger has said and done everything right. (Well, almost. I've only had to threaten him with bodily harm once or twice!). He's been the perfect mix of sympathy and encouragement. In true Roger form, every anxiety I express he manages to prove unneccessary. Even when we found out that his office would be closing shortly after the babies arrived, while I panicked, he assured me he would "make a plan" as he focused on the job hunt. And sure enough, his "plan" worked out and he's now happily employed with a new company. And whenever I start freaking out about any of the gazillion things there are to freak out about raising kids in this cruel, crazy world, Roger's mere presence reminds me that good things happen every day and despite all the bad stuff, this world can be pretty amazing too.

5. The whole miracle thing - When all else fails, I think about how completely incredible it is to be hosting two tiny lives inside my body. As physically challenging as the last eight months have been (and I fear the worst is still to come!), to be so instrumental in this kind of true miracle is both a privilege and a gift.

That's all I got for now. But hopefully it will be enough to get me through the coming weeks....I have a feeling it ain't gonna be pretty!

Here I am - big belly and all. I'm practicing with my friend's new baby, Owen. Good thing my hair hides the look of terror on my face!