Chaos. If I had to pick one word to
describe life right now, that would be it. It’s not that we’re particularly busy – when
I stop and think about it, we don’t actually do a whole helluva lot.
Sure, we both work, and yes, we have two almost two year olds running wild
around the house (not to mention the two dogs), but when I think about
everything we had going on last year – an ongoing stream of visitors, a trip
around the world, etc. – well this year seems pretty tame in comparison. And
yet somehow, I constantly feel like we’re on a roller coaster ride and it’s all
I can do to keep everybody’s arms and legs inside the car.
I wonder if everyone feels this way.
After all, being an adult is pretty demanding. There are jobs to go to and bills
to pay. Not to mention all the little tasks like laundry, doctor
appointments, grocery shopping, jury duty (yes, jury duty). Then of course there are the things that
you'd like to do, but because of the
amount of time you spend doing the things you have to do, these things end up feeling like an obligation - phone
calls to friends, personal emails, sending a birthday card, writing a thank you
note. And finally, there are the things you really want to do, but by the time you’ve
done everything else you either never get around to planning them or you’re too tired
to really enjoy them – vacations, date nights, girls nights out.
Being an adult is hard. Throw in a kid or two, and perhaps a few animals, and it’s even harder. So, yeah, I’m pretty sure most people can
relate to my roller coaster analogy.
But
as much as there is to do, and as
challenging as it is to do it while juggling toddlers, I still get into
bed
every night (okay, most nights), and I feel really happy. And yet,
moment to moment, I’m typically rotating between feelings of exhaustion,
frustration, and failure. So lately, I'm working on feeling the happy in
each moment instead of waiting for hindsight to see it.
And
there is a lot of happiness. The girls are more and more fun every day.
They sing songs and play pretend and do ring-around-the-rosies. They're
talking enough to tell me what they want/need when they want/need it (a
nice relief from the constant guesswork that came with parenting
infants). They say "please" and "thank you" (with prompting, usually)
and "good morning!" and best of all, "I love you." They certainly throw
their fair share of tantrums, but for the most part,the giggles outnumber the screams.
